I came into Bethesda a hopeless alcoholic. I was failing in most areas of my life, despite being two years qualified as a chef in a very large hotel.

For 5 years, I had tried to stop drinking and drugging. Even when I managed to minimize this, my  emotional state became chaotic. I was up and down; if I was not drinking or drugging, I was obsessively spending, working, eating or exercising. These ‘fixes’ were fleeting and momentary. I was easily offended and constantly angry, unable to take responsibility for my emotions, not knowing when I was feeling what and why. I couldn’t stop the bingeing patterns. Despite knowing about Alcoholics Anonymous, I didn’t ever attend, refusing to take responsibility for a life I felt was going nowhere.

I was a slave to guilt, fear and shame, trapped in the vicious cycle of addiction.

After a 3 day ‘celebration’ of the loss of my first promotion, I was overcome with emotional despair and tried to take my life. A friend had heard about The Storms River Rehab and organized my move there. Four months of step work, counsel and sharing helped me get a clear picture of my addiction.

I am by no means cured, but am learning to become responsible for my thoughts, attitudes and behaviours. This growth requires struggle and perseverance, and it is all worth it. Now have a dream job: a chef in the country!

Thank-you to all who contributed to my recovery; it was (and still is) handled with abundant grace, including my colleagues who are a pleasure to work with.

Thank you to God, who is merciful and hears the prayers of the broken and poor in spirit.

Something once said to me; had strong influence on my decision to come to The Storms River Rehab: ‘Don’t wait for the right time.’