If the aim of our program is to make using chemicals as unpleasant and unsatisfactory as possible for each individual, then a recent interaction with a girl and her parents proved how we accomplish this.
A young girl and her parents came to Bethesda for an admission assessment recently, and from the outset her unwillingness to enter treatment and comply with her parents wishes was apparent.
The desperation and despair of her parents was matched only by their daughter’s rage and iron will. All present threw the truth of her situation and her nature at her; the girl’s addiction was under attack and she defended it aggressively.
For every example of the consequences of her addictive behaviour, she responded with irrational explanations or false indifference which was a poor disguise for her immense anger and obvious hurt. The girl displayed all the arrogance of a using addict- the need to control, rebellion and contempt of the truth that was being stated to her.

It would appear that God has seen fit to allow an influx of young women at Bethesda. In recent months we have seen several young women from some chronic addictions coming to us for help. We almost started to pride ourselves with ‘Maybe He knows they are safe here’, and maybe He does. But as time passed, a far higher plane seemed to unravel.  Whilst Deanna undertakes to handle admin and finance with passion and integrity, Colin and the team go toe-to-toe with the very often savage issues of the addiction.
But very slowly over a period of several weeks we started to see a truly amazing dynamic taking place. 3-year-old Georgia was very often found in the arms of one of the ladies in our care. They would play shop, paint toe-nails, or just walk the gardens hand-in hand!
Very slowly, we started to see these girls growing in their femininity. A nurturing instinct took the place of the street attitude, and guns and lies were replaced by buns and butterflies.                                      
Squeals of very girly laughter echoed through the rooms of Bethesda. Our counsel has become: “When you start to crave the drug or missing the culture, ask your self this question, "would you want Georgia to go there"?
Georgia has given three of Bethesda’s girls new desires and direction for their future. One has recaptured a lost dream of becoming a teacher, another has joined the Sunday school teaching staff and the third has realized that in addiction she will never have a Georgia of her own.                          
NB: Colin and Deanna’s trust of these girls with their child is the fruit of a much earned respect from these girls and a closely monitored environment.

Colin Garnett

Healing starts with snot and tranne (tears)
About four months ago a young man came to us from Cape Town; let’s call him Tim.
Tim came to us from years of abusing dagga and meth-amphetamine, his life in chaos, his relationships with his family in tatters.
Tim has spent most of his life in front of a computer screen, the last five or so of those years stoned.
Tim is also super intelligent; “a frustrated genius” as Colin calls him, also religious in his atheism.
A consequence of this is Tim suffers from frozen feelings, and unable to interact, relate and socialise successfully with his peers. It’s all academic with Tim, and few people can match Tim academically because of his superior intellect. As a result of this Tim treats the world around him with contempt which manifests in his sense of humour. A very cutting and sarcastic sense of humour, and always at the expense of someone else.
It has been hard work these last four months with Tim, one of the most stubborn and arrogant guys I have encountered in this work. Tim pushed the limit of all the teams’ patience and tolerance; yet we still met his contempt and stubbornness with love, grace and mercy and persevered with him.
Last week at our self evaluation and goals for the week group, Tim got honestly vulnerable in front of his peers, sharing with tears in his eyes the realisations he has come to about his addiction and his fear and sense of loss around the changes he is going to have to make.
I sat there with a lump in my throat watching those tears but in my heart I was doing cartwheels up and down the garden… FEELINGS! Tim was having feelings. Since that group session we have seen a significant change in Tim’s attitude, as well as him getting in touch with his feelings in his step work and group sessions.
We believe that Tim has turned a corner and look forward to some growth.

John Stewart

Ask any chemically dependant person about their reservations on recovery, one comment you will hear from almost every person is, “there will be no more fun; life in recovery will be boring….etc.”
It may sound silly. However, I speak from personal experience, this twisted belief kept me from taking that step towards recovery for some time, and when I finally did take the step, this twisted belief really depressed me and hindered my process.
Here at Bethesda we try to attach therapeutic value to every thing we do.
Astrid and I needed to go to George for various reasons and Colin suggested we take the clients as well on a day out.
The evening before we went, I compiled music play lists of popular music that I knew most of the guys here would know and enjoy and put them onto CD’s. Friday arrived and we departed for George with a Kombi-full of happy exited clients.
As soon as we hit the N2 I was asked “can we listen to some music please?” which is a standard request whenever we travel in the kombi. I put the music on, turned up the volume and started singing along and dancing as much as safe driving would allow.
It wasn’t long before everybody joined in and there was much laughter, singing and merriment in the kombi. The singing along, joking and laughing lasted most of the way to George which is a good two hour drive.

This week, I really struggled to think of any significant changes or events that occurred in the clients at Bethesda. I needed to reflect on what we as a team have witnessed recently.
I soon realized that the ‘lack’ of significant events is a failing on my part,
rather than an actual uneventful week.
Truth be told, the clients we have at the moment can be accurately described as ‘safe.’
They have been with us a while, and most are in the process of radical change.
Having got real about themselves and the drug culture, they are in the process of disconnecting from their old deceptions and are seemingly willing to embrace a new life of recovery.
This collective consciousness of maturity and growth has led to a quiet and peaceful atmosphere at Bethesda. The peace and quiet was wrongly mistaken for ‘uneventful’ in my eyes.
I had to go through each client and actually really notice the changes that have lead to this harmonious atmosphere. Upon reflection, some of the changes can only be described as miraculous.
One girl, in particular, cannot go unmentioned.
Because the change has been a gradual one and she has been with us a while, I had the tendency to not notice the profound difference in her nature as often as I should.

In the recent months, the amount of female clients has increased, necessitating a ‘gender group.’ The group (consisting of females only) has run several times.

Many aspects of addiction (such as feelings, powerlessness and unmanageability) ‘look the same’ in both males and females. Addiction, as can be seen by varied clients (different in upbringing, social contexts, cultures), does not respect age, gender, class, education or culture. However, I believe there are some aspects of the female’s experience of addiction which are unique to their sex.

The power of a recent gender (females only) group was so energizing and profound that it was an honour and a privilege to have been present. If the aim of the group was merely to enable a deeper level of trust and intimacy between the girls of the house, then ‘mission accomplished.’ This, however, was not the main aim. The aim was to facilitate an environment where females were able to relate to one another by discussing the issues on their heart that they believe are unique to females.

Recently, I introduced art therapy to the clients at Bethesda. Art therapy involves the accessing and expression of thoughts, emotion and experience through various art mediums/materials. It enables people to express their reality and, in turn, having their visual representation in front of them helps aid clarity of their situation.
I was cautious and somewhat reluctant to expose the guys to art therapy. After all, we are dealing with people directly out of the drug culture who may scoff at the idea of drawing.
I thought that few would respond, or be enthusiastic. Many people are reluctant to take creative means of therapeutic expression seriously. Some are embarrassed to draw/paint because they feel unskilled in that area.

The irony of many chemically dependent people is: despite blatant powerlessness/impaired control over chemicals and the chaotic consequences thereof, many display in their natures an incessant need to control.
One such girl here at Bethesda displays such tendencies. Despite the chaos and uncontrolled destruction in her own life, she has shown previous reluctance to relinquish control over her recovery process. Evidence of this has been displayed in many of her characteristics. She works in a very structured and regimented way; she wears various masks, in particular one of ‘the good, polite little girl,’ and has perfectionist traits.