Two Sugars Please

In the past few years I have received several phone calls from many areas of South Africa, people asking the same question: “How do we begin with starting a rehab programme”? Intially I have to try and dissuade them, to see if they are dissuade-able. Working with addicts is like preaching, if you can avoid it then you have to.

To preach is a call of God, it simply cannot be avoided, those who preach, have to. So to with addiction work. If you can do something else, then you must . For those of us who cannot not work with addicts, this is my advise for the foundations of a rehab: 2-sugars. When people arrive at Bethesda we ask them if they want tea or coffee and then how many sugars? Very often the response will be anything from between 3 & 5! It’s the sweet-tooth thing that most addicts have. The rule then becomes, 2-sugars only, and we wait. Those who adhere to the 2-sugars rule ‘because that is the rule’ usually get clean. Those who disregard it and ‘sneak’ 3 or 4 sugars usually relapse. The challenge really comes when they get up in the night and there is no-one watching … how many sugars do they then put in? Because true integrity - the fuel of recovery - can only be developed in secret. Anyone can take 2- sugars when everyone is watching, but it takes deep commitment to do it when there is no one there to impress. This excersise serves a dual puropose; It establishes who truly wants recovery and it starts to develop the skill of applying personal discipline in a bite size chunk. So, thinking of working with addicts? Start small, keep it simple, watch and pray.


Storms River Calm

Some months ago I was invited to speak at a new addiction retreat here in the Storms River Village. They knew my stance for Christ so I went. Danny and Kitty who ran it both attended the talk. I spoke through‘Conditions Directions and Solutions of Addictions’. As the talk came to an end I noticed how Danny had gone into a very pale trance like stare and he then broke down and sobbed. I sat with him and heard what sounded like a very lonely little boy saying; “I want to go home”. I directed him in prayer as he sobbed. This guy was beautifully converted. I‘d seen this before and witnessed first hand how this type of thing can break up a relationship. Guys turn to God and once converted, they find they have nothing in common any more with their girlfriends. But this was more than a relationship, it was a marriage and I knew that I had to say something by way of warning. I said to Kitty; ‘be vigilant now, this could ruin your marriage’. I think the enormity of the moment was too much to understand and Kitty politely responded saying; “Oh no, I’m really happy for him”. Two months later, at 7:45 in the evening I got a call from a very angry Kitty, but this timr she started talking AT me. “I have one or two things that I have to say to you”. I said to Dee, ‘here it comes’. At their home Kitty said she had ‘grown to hate me’ and that she was feeling like it was all a plan to destroy her and she felt like she was being left behind’. I just said, “maybe you are”, and left. This morning, Tuesday 12th June 2007, Kitty came to my office with a real depth of peace in her eyes and a beautiful relaxed smile on her face. She said. “I took the hand of Jesus”. Kitty now loves Bethesda and joins in the Growth Courses, bringing over 5-years of sobriety to share with the guys. Danny and Kitty now have calm in their marriage where once there was only storms. These guys now know the difference ‘sober’ (alcohol free) and saved (Free).


WHAT WE TEACH YOUR LOVED ONE’S

JUDE 22-23
AMPLIFIED

“And refute to convict some who dispute with you, and on some have mercy who waver and doubt.
Strive to save others, snatching them out of the fire, on others take pity but with fear
Hating even the garments spotted by the flesh and polluted by their sensuality”

—————

During a recent Bible study on the above text, we looked at God’s Grace. We looked at how the four Gospels are written; “That we may believe that Jesus is The Christ and have life in His Name” and the Epistles are pretty much written that those who do believe can; “Know that they have eternal life in Christ Jesus and continue to the end in that belief” (John 20:31 & 1 John 5:13).

We then established how the primary teaching within the epistles is in the context of warnings against false teachers who infiltrate the ranks of believers and lead some astray. The text before tells us that this battle will go on right to the very end. Jude is not now saying; “The New Testament is near to a close now we can relax a little bit, … chinup, we are nearly there”.

En-contraire.

Jude is virtually saying; “Stay at the coal face right to the end, even invade the furnace whenever you can. Don’t be goverened by whether or not people agree, disagree or even like what you are saying, press on in truth for the Glory of God, fight for them … but … alas … do not fall under their influence. Be the influence, not the influenced.

Love them, but hate what they do”.
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Jesus warned His disciples in Matthew 25 that the end will be known by the many false solutions (leaders) that come, trying to seduce – even the elect if that were possible - by their deception.

At the end of the the session we offered this question: ‘Tell us something both positive and true about your addiction– anything, but it has to be both positive and true about your addiction”.

We have never yet had anyone come forward with a ‘positive truth’ about their addiction, thereby establishing that addiction is rooted in and fuelled by deception.
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This is where we win many. I can offer something both true and positive about my addiciton:

“It is finished”

That’s why we are often hard on the resistance of the dying addicts who come to us. That’s why we compromise not to the things that contribute to the spread of spiritual cancer. But that’s also why we extend grace upon grace towards the aggressive, difficult and troblesome ones. That’s why we go the extra mile over and over again — because we know that we stand at the furnace door and see thier blindness and we want not their approval but their freedom from the dungeon of addiction — because this is The Father Heart of God who desires that we do not give up. That we support the needs of the dying, not the opinions of man. That we have good news to relay back to the weeping Mom at home - “Your child will live”

Success rate of Bethesda? 100% - we give everyone our all

Some go home and relapse - we do not see that as failure

Some go home and stay sober - we do not take the glory, that belongs to God 100%


Fruits of Biblical Teaching

Addiction counselling brings many moments of elation and depression, but when one of those very special moments of clarity comes along all the depressions sink into insignificance. Let me explain. Having trained and worked in the (secular) worlds most effective addiction treatment clinics, I unknowingly adopted a belief that ‘eating disorders’ are the most difficult and destructive bahaviour to identify monitor and manage. I was actually a little afraid of working such cases. Until today. At Bethesda we recently found ourselves with three female eating disorders all at the same time. During one of our Bible studies we unpacked Genesis 2 & 3, where we see chapter 2 closing with the line: “The man and his wife were both naked but knew no shame”. Then within 6-short verses we are shown how: “The eyes of them both were opened and they knew that they were naked and they sewed fig leaves together to cover themselves” (Gen. 3:7) Our focus went to their new-found self-consciouesness and shame and how this is our human blueprint, not just that of a chosen frozen few (female eating disorders). We all have that inner niggling self-dssatisfaction distorted belief that “my nakedness is shamefull”. Today, Dee got a text message from one of these young ladies, let me call her Clarity. Clarity wrote: ‘Hi Dee, I just want to share with you, ... remember how I shared with you that I get moments of clarity when I shower? Well, this morning, just as my thoughts were drifting towards obsessiveness about my body, I ‘heard’ - ’Keep your eyes on Me’. When I returned my focus to The Lord and listened, I got this message— “Your body is an instrument created to do God’s good works, a living sacrifice to glorify His Name, so how are you going to serve Him today”? The change in this young lady has left each of the Bethesda team joyfaully looking at each other and shrugging and asking: “What happened”? On her arrival at Bethesda, Clarity was a terribly confusing mixture of wishy-washy intellectual nowhereness and emotional volitility! All confrontation was taken as an attack and her passive aggression often time controlled the atmosphere of the whole home.We all made our minds up that ‘this is probably beyond us, so let’s just love her’. And it was and we did. But yet to Him who is able to accomplish more than we can ever even imagine or ask, He who sits high above all dominion rule and power throughout heaven and earth, to Him, it was just another day at the Mercy Seat. Today another sweet child once lost in darkness rests in the power of His love. Bethesda stands down from receiving any credit for the progress of this young lady, and many more like her. We gave up. We can only shrug at each other and rejoice. As her new life now passes thorough green pastures still waters and rest, we look to He alone who will see her safely through the inevitable valleys ahead. We look to Him who prepares a table ahead of her in the presence of her enemies and we quietly weep as another one understands and accepts the invitation to The Marriage of The Lamb.

Revelation 19:8-9
“And to her it was granted to be arrayed in fine linen, clean and bright. Blessed are those who are invited
to marriage supper of The Lamb”

Garnett’s in England

On July 11th, Deanna, Georgia, Nathan and I are flying off to England for a 3-week break.
Bethesda has functioned very busily for over two years now and we have not had a proper break
to ourselves. So off we go. We arrive in London at 7a.m. on the morning of the 12th where we will be collected driven down to the beautiful South Coast for a days rest with the Howshall family. We will then head to the North West of England to visit the Lake district. We are going to the Keswick convention to
rest and rise in a week of worship and word under some of the world’s most respceted Bible
teachers. Dee and I will be at Keswick from the 14th until the 21st. During the convention Rev. Dr. Steve
Brady, Principle of Moorlands College (www.moorlands.ac.uk) will be interviewing Deanna and I.
This interview will also see the launch of my new booklet ‘Conditions Directions and Solutions for
Addictions’. CD&S is a spiritual map book for identifying and understanding the various spiritual stages and
subsequent needs for addressing addictions in the individual. The cost has been set at 6-pounds
per book which is an ideal tool for small group facilitational guides or as an individual awareness
tool for addicts or their loved one’s. Awareness always (only) brings empowerment (action brings results) and I truly believe that current and/or potential addiction workers, youth workers, addicts and their families need to read this little booklet. It challenges the currently dominant secular diagnosis of addiction and offers enlightenment as to why ’apparent’ progress is always so short lived with most addicts. Professort of Birmingham University in UK has said that CD&S will cause everyone of its readers to re-assess their own spiritual position and condition. Should you want to order a copy (R85) or a pack of 6-copies (R400), please email me ( This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it ) directly and I will take up the arrangements of getting them to you as quickly as possible.
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Bethesda will be left in the very capable hands of God fearing men and women. Big John will hold the fort as programme manager with Brian as his Support Counsellor. Eric Roets, a godly young man is coming up from Cape Town—a Beth Rapha graduate—to assist with groups and one-to-one work. We also have Joyce Ray, an American missionary running alongside the now calm ‘Storms River Kitty’ to get alongside our ladies in care and Athena Richmond — our Social Worker from Knysna, will continue her sterling work with seminars like ‘making success out of failure’, and, God Willing, Hanlie, our SRN will keep the sicknesses at bay. From us all, until August, every blessing. Garnett’s in England This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it