One of our clients this week, having spent years trapped in multiple-addictive disorders, started to see and unpack the lies he had grown up with.  Lies he received from family members who truly loved him too:

•     “Everything you do is brilliant”
•     “You are the best swimmer ever”
•     “You are the most handsome”.

Probably messages which we would all want to pass on to our children, but which, in actual fact, are ‘untrue’. The message was: “You are the best.”  The child’s interpretation of the message was:  “I have to be the best.”

You see, when this little child entered the world, everyone sighed a huge sigh of relief to see that he was able-bodied and making all the right noises, etc.  All families identify with this fear and subsequent relief or grief, but this little boy’s health may have meant just a little bit more to this family than that of the average family, because this little boy was the result of incest.  A whole family had percolated for nine long months in shame, guilt and fear. That negativity, seasoned with immense relief, simply created: flattery.  The child could do no wrong.

He pretty soon realised that in order to actually be the best, he would have to adopt certain skills: bullying, manipulation and lying. Here we have an addict, 10 years before he has even seen an illegal substance.  When a person can do no wrong, he or she is then disqualified from having any personal, genuine needs.
They cannot feel sad or lonely or insecure; they can never ask for help or a hug. Such loneliness can kill.  Our guy reached the top of his profession, but there were many injured people in his wake, and he is left broken and friendless.

At Bethesda we are slowly allowing him to reconstruct emotionally and spiritually, as a new individual in Christ, as a husband and as a parent.  The iniquity he ‘matured’ in has now been fractured by his conversion to Christ, and he can now pass on a new inheritance.  A new creation has to give birth to a new heritage.   

This week at Bethesda we have reached the 10th session of the Hiding from Love course (http://www.cloudtownsend.com/).  The lesson we extracted for the after-group discussion was one of discerning the difference between ‘wants and needs’ and how we, the broken, very easily turn our genuine needs into bad things.

Our lesson for the week: God’s desire is to convert us for His glory.  Eventually, however, if we never take any real ownership of our personal needs, we will convert God for our glory.
We are about to enter a season of cost-counting with the Bethesda clients, prior to their Baptism.
Please stay tuned for a Biblical explanation around one of the most incorrectly answered questions of The Bible:  ‘Why was Jesus baptised?’